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Phone Sex With Alexis In 2017

Hey there girls and sperms! It’s been a rocking year in 2016, and I’m looking forward to doing it all over again in 2017. I’ve got new projects lined up, more games and assignments for you eager slave boys, and more audio to drown your addictions in. Every month I have events planned out. And some special surprises coming your way to keep your jerking that cock and draining your balls, too!

So get ready for the 2017 lineup! My typical hours for providing live phone sex chat on Niteflirt will be Monday through Friday 10 am eastern or earlier, until 6 pm eastern. And, sometimes weekends.

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JANUARY:

In The Vault Event –Up to 75% off every item on the site, every day, all year long! It’s your one time pass to access audios, tasks, pics and more that are no longer accessible to the general public, at rock bottom prices.

Get the VIP Access, where my live chat line is never more than $1.00 per minute!

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION MONTH – It’s time to do those things that you’ve been putting off. I’d like a list of the things that you’ve always wanted to try, or want to personally work on. Over the years on Niteflirt, I have encouraged new experiences and have helped to inspire those with their personal goals. From losing weight, masturbation techniques, enhancing fun with their partner, or simply learning to just have more fun! So, what is it this year that you’d like to try or do? Call me or send me an email through Niteflirt, and let’s make it happen!

HUMILIATION DAY – It’s not what you think. But then again, you are reading My blog. Since I like to put a spin on anything that I can, this is the perfect opportunity to do just that! If you’re into being humiliated, let’s see just how extreme you can get!

MALE WATCHER’S DAY – Men love gawking at sexy women. Well, it’s time to watch those men doing what they do best! Either have Me watch you on call during our call, or take pictures of yourself while your hard at work, and staying hard while doing it! OR, you could always discreetly take some pictures on your cell phone, of some sexy studs with big cocks – at work, the mall, gas station, or from anywhere else! (Faces and personal identifying marks will be edited before I post them to the blog or on Twitter.) Hint – What woman doesn’t love a man in a suit, and having him strip it off for her?

FRIDAY THE 13TH – A new assignment or audio available. Check out other offers here.

DRESS UP YOUR PET DAY – This is a special day for My slaves, sluts, and pets. Dress yourself up as a dog for Me, and take a pic!

NATIONAL NOTHING DAY – Pay a drive-by tribute, or call My ignore line to celebrate!

FUN AT WORK DAY – What kind of kinky can you get into at work? let’s find out!

FEBRUARY:

MY BIRTHDAY – February 1st, is My birthday. Spoil Me, and show Me some love!

AMAZONWishlist containing products that I’d want, and that are needed to keep the cocks rocking.

GIFT CARDSA list of a few gift cards that I’ve used, and love.

DELL COMPUTER GIFT CARDSTo keep my computer software and contracts updated, cranking out the good stuff, and pumping out the podcasts.

MUSICIAN’S FRIENDWhere I purchase some of my Recording gear, and musical related items for audio projects.

GUITAR CENTER – Where I purchase some of my recording equipment.

Annual Slave Bonding Ceremonies. Bonding ceremonies in progress.

CANNED FOOD MONTH – You have two ways to play. Donate canned goods to the local food bank. Or, humiliate yourself by either eating a can of cat or dog food for Me!

NATIONAL PIE MONTH – You’ve seen the movie American Pie. Who could forget the following scene? It’s your turn!

DON’T CRY OVER SPILLED MILK DAY – How long can you hold out from blowing that load? I might bring you to tears!

VALENTINE’S DAY – Love letters, poems, or fantasies welcome! Submit your original ideas t Me, and I’ll add it to My next podcast!

MARCH:

NATIONAL PEANUT MONTH –It’s time for some CEI with peanutbutter and jizz jelly sandwiches!

PANIC DAY –It’s time for some blackmail fun!

ST. PATRICK’S DAY –Let’s play some intoxication / drinking games! Ready, set, drink!

EARTH DAY –A great day to be teased and denied! Stroke with me until you can’t take it any longer. Then expect to turn off the lights, phone, computer, and anything else that you have that gives you internet access or a one on one way to communicate. Then you’ll be calling back – so get ready to jack – it off!

APRIL:

APRIL FOOLS FOR ALEXIS – Time has come once again to start sending in those humiliating videos to Me, for public posting on My Youtube channel. Hide your identity, cover your face with a mask – or not. Due to Youtube’s TOS, NO genitals, no scat or watersports, no bestiality, or doing things to other people against their will. Get it? Got it? Good. If you need some ideas, then you know where to find Me.

GO FOR BROKE DAY –It’s time to do a drive by tribue, max out the credit cards, and drain every dollar in your account – right into Mine!

DRAW A PICTURE OF A BIRD DAY –Put your pecker on a piece of paper, and trace it with a marker. Take a picture and send Me it. I’ll be happy to post the pic!

MY NITEFLIRT ANNIVERSARY – I can’t believe that it’s been 10 years! Since the traditional and modern gift giving items are diamonds you’ll find a suitable wishlist here, for your convenience. call Me and let’s celebrate together!

MAY:

MASTURBATION MONTH – It’s National Masturbation Month! Time for some JOI (jerk off instructions). If mental stimulation is your game, prepare for me to blow your mind, as your blow your load! I’ll show you how to rock that cock.

JUNE:

DAIRY MONTH –Ice cream, chocolate milk, and grilled cheese – all with a load, please! That’s what you’ll be saying once We start playing some tasty CEI games!

DARE DAY – Do something different – I dare you! Call Me for some frisky, risky fun!

DOUGHNUT DAY – Grab your favorite doughnut and your cock. You know where I’m going with this! Be sure to lick up every last drop of that glaze, baby! OR – get ready to be turned into a glazed doughnut. Open wide for some cock sucking action!

FRESH FRUIT AND VEGETABLES EVERY DAY – Celebrate the whole month with fresh fruit and veggies. One way or another, you’re going to make additional use out of your favorite cucumber, cantaloupe, or corn on the cob. Let’s not forget the kiwi and lemon for those CBT wankers!

PINK DAY IN JUNE –A special day for pink panties for sissies, crossdressers, and humiliated gluttons!

JULY:

RED, WHITE, AND BLUE EVENT – Once again, it’s all about the red, white, and blue! Time for red spanked asses, white spunk, and blue balls? Wear those patriotic panties, grab a cock cage, get out your favorite sex toy, and let’s have some fun!

HOT DOG MONTH – Finding creative ways to use those weiners!

NATIONAL BIKINI DAY –< Fun in and out of sun, with those bikinis on your bum! Get your girlfriend’s, wife’s, or yours’ and call Me!

AUGUST:

HOT ASS SUMMER EVENT ON NITEFLIRT – Grab the vibrators, butt plugs, anal beads, and even that cucumber that you were about to have for lunch. It’s time to work that prostate, your masturbation techniques, and your sexual health. Read My post on the benefits, and the warnings for prostate messaging, here.

SEPTEMBER:

BACON DAY – Time for the piggies to start paying and playing!

MAKE YOUR BED DAY –More like make a mess in your bed day! If you have a wife or girlfriend, you’ll be jacking off with Me in your bed, and leaving your load on her pillowcase.

CUMSTITUTION –We’ve all heard of the Constitution of America. Well once again, I have put a spin on it and made one of My own. I’ve created the Cumstitution of Alexis! Comment at the bottom of that page to take the pledge today!

OCTOBER:

THE HALLOWEEN HUMILIATION EVENT – More assignments and tasks than you can shake your halloweenie at this year! Stay tuned for special offers, Halloween tasks, and more!

NOVEMBER:

DEVILED EGG DAY – For you CBT enthusiasts that want to devil those eggs between your legs! Creative ways of ball busting coming to you!

HOUSEWIFE’S DAY –Put on your panties and aprons, girls! I’m going turn you into My personal housewife. Cook, clean, and turn you into My love making machine!

CLEAN YOUR REFRIDGERATOR DAY –For those food fetishists, today is the day that YOU get to put those leftovers to good use!

THANKSGIVING EVENT –I can bet that your cock is grateful to cum. Your ass might be grateful to wear those panties. You might even be grateful to be getting fucked like a dirty slut! What are YOU grateful for?

DECEMBER:

CHRISTMAS EVENT –And in December, I’ll be making merry with Christmas fun, holiday cheer, and announcements for the new year of 2017!

“You only have one life to live. Enjoy the ride!”

Threesome Sex Positions

If you’re lucky enough to be a guy who managed to score a lady who’s up for a threesome, or if you enjoy adding another player to the bedroom from time to time, your threesome vocabulary may already be developed. But here’s an important fact to know: When it comes to getting the most out of all of those body parts , you have to know how it works for her, just as much as it works for you.

So befo…

Via:: http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_250/279_love_tip.html

Sex Moves Women Love

While you’re relaxing post-feast on Thanksgiving Day with some football and beer, take a moment to think about what you’re thankful for. Good food, good friends, good health, good job and of course, good — or um, great — sex. Your leading lady is thankful for those orgasms too, but what specifically gets her going in the bedroom? In honor of Thanksgiving — and for having even hotter, deeper,…

Via:: http://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/sex-moves-women-love.html

How The Internet Makes It Easier Than Ever To Lie, Cheat And Steal

By Peter Hoare

Credit: Getty Images

Internet Plagiarism

How The Internet Makes It Easier Than Ever To Lie, Cheat And Steal

Intellectual property is a hot-button issue these days, thanks in part to the recent uproar over Josh Ostrovsky, better known as “Instagram comic” The Fat Jew. Now before I proceed, let me assure everyone reading this that I think, nay, I know, that the term “Instagram comic” is loathsome. The mere notion that someone would have the gall to classify himself as a comedian without so much as writing an original joke or gracing a stage is insulting. Comedy is an art form. With that said, when The Fat Jew inked a deal at Comedy Central, and was then subsequently signed to CAA, arguably the most prestigious talent agency in the world, the comedy community collectively vomited.

In case you’re unaware, Ostrovsky’s entire shtick is that he posts jokes, photos and memes to his Instagram account. And though more than 5 million people currently follow him, Ostrovsky doesn’t actually create any of this content himself. In his own words, he “aggregates” it.

Aggregates? Christ.

Does that mean when I stole MC Hammer’s 2 Legit 2 Quit from a Long Island Kmart in 1992 I actually just “aggregated it” into my own CD collection?

Here’s what happens, folks. The Fat Jew will find a joke online, deem it funny, and then post it to his Instagram account. North of 5 million people will see said joke, and, because up until last month Ostrovsky never credited his sources, they’ll blindly think to themselves, “That Fat Jew is hilarious!”

That’s not aggregation. That’s outright plagiarism. That’s thievery. That’s abduction of thought. That’s accepting unwarranted praise based on the God-given cleverness of ripped-off strangers. That’s not corking the bat, that’s firing the baseball into the stands with a f**king bazooka. More importantly, in my eyes, that’s the polar opposite of why a comedian or comedy writer does what they do.

Online plagiarism bastardizes the inherent charm behind creation.

While I currently make a living by writing television shows and screenplays, the monetary endgame isn’t what I love about writing. In fact, it’s often the most soul-crushingly frustrating part, trust me. Personally, I love writing jokes because eliciting a response is addicting on a truly visceral level. It’s heroin. I like to think of comedy as being a puzzle. I’m convinced there’s an entertaining angle to every possible scenario, be it a GOP debate, Bill Cosby being a piece of sh*t or an aircraft disappearing out of thin air. And if I’m ever lucky enough to find a truly unique angle to any situation, in my eyes, it’s as if I’ve solved a comedy puzzle. It’s a mental win.

Stealing a joke, however, would be akin to letting someone else put together a jigsaw puzzle, yet displaying it on your coffee table. It’s Milli Vanilli-esque, really.

I personally challenge Ostrovsky to live tweet the next GOP debate. Prove everyone wrong. You’ll be lobbed softballs all night. Should be easy, no?

This brings up a point far more substantial than some hack that we’ll all likely have long since forgotten about five years from now. We currently live in a world where information is more readily available than ever before. It’s both a blessing and a curse. If you’re a person who’s sadly void of a creative conscience, what’s to stop you from going the Fat Jew route and pilfering intellectual property?

Nothing.

You can steal everything from a joke to wedding vows if you have Wi-Fi.

Something interesting happened to me the other day. You see, I’m pretty damn active on Twitter. Now does that sound lame? Admittedly, it sure does, cowboy. Either way, it’s accurate. For better or worse, I tweet out jokes on a semi-constant basis. It’s obnoxious. Anyway, I recently met a girl in person whom I’d previously only known via the ol’ Twitter machine. And she, in turn, had been following my drivel for quite some time. This girl works for a popular late night show. In the spirit of anonymity, I won’t specify as to which one. Anyway, after realizing that we’ve been reading each other’s 140-character-or-less one-liners for years, she told me a fascinating story, one that pertained to me personally.

For a period of time last year, this girl was in charge or reading submitted material from prospective writers for her show. Packets are what they’re regularly called. Writers will submit sketches and topical monologue jokes in hopes of landing a gig. And this past February, my new friend said she discovered that someone submitted one of my jokes, trying to pass it off as one of their own.

Say what?

Last year, after Kanye West slammed Beck at the Grammys, I tweeted this…

Kanye West doesn’t care about Beck people.

— Peter Hoare (@PeterHoare) February 9, 2015

This isn’t comedic brilliance, nor is it something that someone else wouldn’t be capable of coming up with. It’s just a simple joke based on Kanye’s famous comment about George Bush. However, the “writer” who submitted this joke as his own not only follows me on Twitter, but as this thankfully vigilant late night employee discovered, he also retweeted my joke. He read it. He liked it. He shared it. He stole it.

This bastard Fat Jew’d me!

If you gain employment based on how someone else’s brain is wired, you’ll likely be discovered as a fraud sooner or later. I could fake a resume and apply for a job as Chief of Medicine at Cedars-Sinai, but if you put me in front of an operating table, whoever’s lying there is dead as sh*t. Why? Because for all intents and purposes my knowledge of modern medicine is equivalent to The Fat Jew’s ability to craft an original joke. What would his Comedy Central series, which has since been pulled, have even been about?!

It doesn’t have to be something tangible like an amazing MC Hammer record for it to be considered stealing. Don’t aspire not to get caught. Aspire to impress on your own merits. Self-respect is important. Have some. In some cases, it’s all we have.

Cheers,

@PeterHoare

Via:: http://www.askmen.com/recess/opinions/internet-plagiarism.html