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sex facts

The BDSM Glossary part 2

 

new-post-on-pw

Since the glossary is quite extensive. i thought that it would be best to divide the terms into three separte parts to make for easier reading:

D/s: Dominance and submission.

DACRYPHILIA; also, DACRYLAGNIA: Psychology Sexual arousal from seeing a partner cry.

DEVICE BONDAGE: Colloquial Bondage involving highly specialized equipment, furniture, or devices, often very elaborate, to immobilize a person.

DEVIL’S FIRE: Colloquial An unusual branding technique involving taking a pointed needle that has been heated red-hot and touching it lightly to the surface of the skin for a brief instant The point of the needle creates a tiny round burn on the skin. Hundreds or thousands of these tiny marks are combined to create a pointillistic design which may persist for several weeks to several months.

DIAGONAL CROSS: See St. Andrew’s cross. Usage: Primarily British; uncommon in the United States.

DISCIPLINE: 1. Any activity in which one person trains another person to act or behave in a specified way, often by enforcing rigid codes of conduct or by inflicting punishment for failure to behave in the prescribed way. 2. Archaic Any instrument used to enforce discipline or to punish physically, such as a whip or crop.

DOMINA: A female dominant.

DOMINANT: A person who assumes a role of power or authority in a power exchange relationship. A dominant takes psychological control over or has power over another person, and may, for example, give that person orders which are to be obeyed. Contrast submissive; see related top, switch.

DOMINATE: To assume or exert control over; to take psychological power over. A person who controls another person or takes control of a scene is said to dominate that person. Dominant is a noun or an adjective; dominate is a verb. Domination, dominance: the act of wielding authority over another.

DOM: A dominant. Usage: Often indicates a male dominant; however, may be applied to a dominant of any sex.

DOMINATRIX: A dominant, usually female and often a prodomme.

DOMME: A female dominant.

DOOR HANGAR: A n implement for bondage consisting of a short piece of flat webbing, usually an inch or two wide, connected to a thick metal or wooden dowel on one end and a metal ring on the other. The webbing can be hung over the top of a door; when the door is closed, the dowel prevents the webbing from being pulled through the door, and a person may be bound to the ring.

DOUBLE WEAVE: See florentine.

DRAGON’S TAIL: An unusual type of whip consisting of a handle, often made of wood and wrapped with leather, to which a wide triangular piece of thin leather or suede is attached. This leather or suede forms a lash which is a hollow tube tapering to a point at the striking end.

DROP COLLAR: A specific type of collar which is shaped in such a way as to descend in the front, so that the frontmost part of the collar rests in the hollow of the throat rather than around the front of the neck. A drop collar may be constructed of a rigid material like stainless steel, or made of more conventional materials such as leather. Some drop collars feature a medallion, charm, or other ornamentation on the frontmost part of the collar. Commentary: Some people find that drop collars are more comfortable than collars that go around the neck, particularly for extended wear.

DUNGEON: Any place specifically set up for BDSM activities, often equipped specifically for BDSM play, as with furniture such as racks, crosses, and the like.

DUNGEON MONITOR: In a play party, a person charged with ensuring that the participants adhere to safety rules and treat one another with respect.

EDGE PLAY: 1. Any practice which involves significant risk of injury or physical harm; as, breath control, fire play. 2. Any practice which challenges the limits or boundaries of one or more of the participants.

ELECTRICAL PLAY: Any of a variety of different practices involving the use of electrical current or electricity to stimulate a person. Some common forms of electrical play include using high-voltage, low-current devices such as violet wands or the use of controlled pulses of electricity to induce muscle contractions as with a TENS unit. Commentary: Many forms of electrical play are not safe to use above the waist, as even small amounts of electrical current across the chest may induce heart arrythmia or heart attack.

EMT SCISSORS; also, EMT SHEARS: See bandage scissors.

ENCASEMENT: See mummification.

ENDORPHINS: Naturally-occurring opiate-like chemicals produced in the brain in response to pain, which block pain and can produce a euphoric sensation. The euphoria sometimes described by people who engage in BDSM is often attributed to endorphins.

ENEMA: The act of introducing water or other liquid into the bowel or lower intestine, often by means of a nozzle inserted into the anus and connected to a liquid-filled bag or bulb. Commentary: In a BDSM context, enemas may be given for pleasure (some people find the sensations enjoyable or arousing), as a form of humiliation play, or simply as a precursor to anal sex.

ENGLISH: Archaic caning.

EVIL STICK: Colloquial An implement consisting of a thin rod of carbon fiber, typically about the diameter of a mechanical pencil lead, attached to a small, rigid handle. The carbon fiber rod is flexible and very strong; when laid against the skin and then flicked with a strong upward motion at its tip, it causes a sharp pain and typically leaves a thin, well-defined welt that can persist for days.

EXECUTIONER’S HOOD: A specific form of hood, almost always made of leather, which covers the head and the upper part of the wearer’s face but not the wearer’s mouth.

EXHIBITIONIST: One who is sexually aroused by showing others his or her body or by being watched, particularly in a sexual setting or while engaged in sexual activity.

EXHIBITIONISM: The act of engaging in exhibitionistic behavior, such as sexual behavior, for the sexual gratification of the person being watched.

FACESITTING; also, FACE SITTING: See queening.

FALL: 1. The striking end of a singletail. 2. See lash (def. 2).

FEAR PLAY: Any BDSM activity centered around creating the feeling of fear in one or more of the participants. This does not necessarily have to involve elements of pain or actual danger; sensations of fear may be created through the use of psychological pressure, sensory deprivation, the threat of pain or discomfort, or even exposing a person to the object of a phobia.

FEMDOM: A power exchange relationship in which the dominant is female. Often (but not always) used to refer to a relationship between a female dominant and a male submissive.

FEMINIZATION: The practice of enforcing activities or behaviors on a male submissive which are typically associated with women, as cross-dressing, requiring the submissive to sit when urinating, and the like. Often used as a form of humiliation play. Also referred to as sissification.

FERULA: See tawse. Usage: Originated in Catholic schools; uncommon among people who have not attended Catholic school.

FETISH: 1. Formally, Psychology a non-sexual object whose presence is required for sexual arousal or climax; informally, anything not generally considered sexual which arouses a person, as a foot fetish or a leather fetish. 2. Anything of or relating to BDSM in general; as a fetish convention, a fetish event. 3. Items, practices, or apparel relating to BDSM; as, fetish photography, fetish clothing.

FETTERS: see leg irons.

FIDDLE: A type of restraint consisting of a short metal rod that has a locking collar, usually made of metal, affixed to one end and a pair of locking cuffs on the other, or a rigid yoke with openings for the neck on one end and the wrists on the other. Used to bind the wrists together and prevent freedom of motion of the hands and arms.

FIGGING: The practice of placing a piece of carved ginger root into the anus or vagina. The result is a burning sensation which many people claim can intensify orgasm, and which other people use as an adjunct to physical discipline such as spanking. Commentary: This practice is believed to date back to Victorian times, when it was used in conjunction with caning as a technique for disciplining errant women.

FIRE PLAY: Any of a number of practices involving the use of fire or flame in BDSM or sexual play. One form of fire play, for example, involves placing an accelerant such as alcohol on a person’s body, then igniting and quickly extinguishing it. Commentary: Very dramatic, but also dangerous. Not appropriate for inexperienced people.

FIRE WHIP: 1. A flogger with multiple lashes made of flat woven Kevlar, designed to be soaked with a flammable accelerant such as lighter fluid and then ignited prior to use. The fire whip is used by keeping it continuously in motion, so that it strikes the target for very brief periods of time so as to avoid burning the person being whipped. 2. A type of singletail consisting of a rigid handle connected to a long, flexible Kevlar rope, often with a short length of Kevlar string on the end, designed to be soaked in an accelerant and then ignited prior to use.

FIRST GIRL: In the Gor novels, one of a group of female sex slaves owned by the same master, who is considered ‘first’ or predominent over the other sex slaves. In Gorean D/s, a woman who identifies as a slave and has status or rank over any other women who consider themselves slaves to the same person.

FISTICUFF: Archaic 1. To strike with the closed hand. Fisticuffs: Archaic 1. The fists. 2. Colloquial A fistfight. Get into fisticuffs: Engage in a fight with bare fists.

FISTING: The practice of inserting the entire hand into the vagina or (less commonly) into the anus. Commentary: Vaginal fisting is actually quite a bit easier to do than most people realize; the human body is quite accommodating. Contrary to common misconception, fisting is not done by making a fist and shoving it into the vagina; rather, the fingers are placed together and inserted slowly; as the hand is inserted, the fingers tend to curl into a loose ball. Many women experience intense orgasms from vaginal fisting.

FISTING SLING: A sling designed in such a way that the person within the sling is reclined with the legs spread apart, in a posture convenient for fisting.

FLAGELLATION: A generic term for any sort of activity involving flogging or whipping.

FLAGGING: The act of wearing a specific clothing, insignia, jewelry, or other sign as a means of expressing interest in a specific form of BDSM activities. See related hanky code.

FLOG: To strike with a flogger.

FLOGGER: An implement used to strike a person, consisting of a handle with multiple lashes attached to it. The lashes are typically made of leather, but may also be made of materials such as rope, suede, horsehair, or even Koosh balls. See also cat, cat o’ nine tails, dread koosh flogger, fire whip; See related thud, sting.

FLORENTINE: A flashy flogging technique involving the use of a flogger in each hand. The floggers are swung in a figure-8 pattern. Sometimes called a double weave. See related triple weave.

FORCED ORGASM: An orgasm induced in a person against that person’s will or as part of resistance play, often by means of bondage combined with sexual stimulation. See related consensual non-consent.

FORNIPHILIA: (literally, Latin fornire furniture + Greek philos love): a specific type of bondage combined with utility D/s in which a person is bound and immobilized, and then used as furniture, such as a table or footrest.

FORNIPHILIA GAG: See utility gag.

FOUNTAIN OF VENUS: Colloquial Water sports involving urination by a woman.

FREEPLAY: BDSM activities in which there is no domination or submission. See related top, bottom, sensation play.

FROG TIE: A specific form of bondage in which the person kneels and the ankles are bound to the thighs, preventing the person from rising; the wrists are then bound to the ankles.

FUCKING MACHINE: Any device or machine which is designed to simulate the act of sex; often consisting of a dildo affixed to a reciprocating motor so as to thrust in and out of a person. Many varieties of fucking machines exist, some designed so that the subject straddles or sits on them, others designed to be used when the subject is prone or spreadeagle.

FUNNEL GAG: A gag, usually consisting of an oblong or penis-shaped rubber or plastic bit, which has a tube running through it connected to a funnel. When the gag is placed in the mouth, any liquids introduced into the tube will pass into the mouth, and the person wearing the gag has no choice but to swallow them.

GAG: Any device or object designed to be placed in the mouth, most commonly to prevent a person from speaking or making loud sounds, sometimes to hold the mouth open. Also, verb 1. To place an object into the mouth to prevent a person from speaking. 2. To choke, particularly by placing something in the mouth. See also cleave gag, ball gag, ring gag, rope gag, mouth gag, mouth bit, pump gag, funnel gag, spider gag, utility gag.

GASPING: colloquial; see breath control.

GASPER: colloquial One who participates or engages in breath control or auto-erotic asphyxia.

GATES OF HELL: A male chastity device consisting of a series of metal rings connected by a leather band which are placed around the penis.

GENITORTURE: pain play inflicted on the genitals.

GIMP: Colloquial A submissive; most often, a gay male submissive. Usage: Almost always refers to a submissive who frequently wears tight-fitting vinyl, leather, PVC, or rubber suits with a hood or mask. Sometimes used insultingly or to indicate derision of the person so named.

GIMP MASK: Colloquial A specific form of hood, often made of heavy leather or rubber, which entirely encloses the face and head, and which often lacks openings for the eyes, mouth, or ears.

GIMP SUIT: Colloquial Any tight, formfitting suit, typically made of black rubber, PVC, heavy leather, or a similar material, which encloses the wearer’s entire body. May have straps, rings, or other accessories which can serve as tie-down points.

GOLDEN SHOWER: A form of water sports involving the act of urinating on a person.

GOR: A mythical planet created by science fiction writer John Norman and used as the setting for an entire series of science fiction novels. The novels describe a civilization in which women occupy an extremely submissive position in society and are often used as sex slaves. The novels describes a formalized, ritualized set of social structures centered around female submission and male superiority, which have been adopted by a subcommunity of people within the BDSM community.

GOREAN D/S: Male domination and female submission according to a formal system adapted from the fictitious society described in the Gor novels, and characterized by strong hierarchy, male superiority, and an elaborate system of protocols. Includes such elements as ritualized postures and positions which women are expected to take in the presence of men under certain circumstances. Also Gorean master, Gorean slave: one who adopts a dominant or submissive role in a manner which reflects the society described in the novels. See related kajira, first girl.

GREEK: Colloquial Of or related to anal sex.

GROPE BOX: A long, narrow, enclosed box, often made of wood, with many openings along its front and sides, into which a person may be placed and then groped or fondled by people outside the box. A person within a grope box is helpless to prevent the fondling and often cannot see the people doing the fondling.

GWENDOLINE HOOD; also, SWEET GWENDOLINE HOOD: A specific type of hood, often made of leather or latex but sometimes made of materials such as PVC or Spandex, which fits around the head and covers the mouth but has a large opening for the eyes and nose. Etymology: Named for Sweet Gwendoline, a character in a series of bondage comics written by artist John Willie in the 1950s and 1960s, who was often depicted wearing this style of hood.

GYNARCHY: 1. Formally, Sociology A political or governmental system ruled by women. 2. Colloquial Femdom, particularly femdom in which all females are assumed to be superior to the male.

HAIR TIE; also, HAIR BONDAGE: Any bondage technique in which a rope, twine, or cord is woven or braided through a person’s hair, then tied in such a way as to limit mobility of the bound person’s head.

HANDCUFFS: Narrow metal cuffs with a pivoting hinge and a ratcheted locking mechanism, connected to each other by a short length of chain and often used to restrain people’s wrists together. Commonly used by law enforcement and security personnel. Commentary: Handcuffs are not always safe to use in BDSM scenarios, particularly if resistance play is involved, as their narrowness and hardness can cause injury to the wrist if the restrained person pulls or struggles against them.

HANDBALLING: Colloquial; see fisting. Usage: Less common than the term fisting.

HANKY CODE: A covert technique developed largely by the old leather community for advertising one’s BDSM preferences and to indicate the activities in which one was interested. The code worked by using a system of colored handkerchiefs, usually worn in the back pocket, on the left side for dominants and the right side for submissives. Each class of activity had its own particular color; for example, a person who was interested in pain play might wear a black handkerchief, whereas a gray handkerchief might indicate an interest in bondage, and so on.

HARD LIMIT: A limit which is considered to be absolute, inflexible, and non-negotiable. Contrast soft limit.

HARNESS GAG: A ball gag with additional straps which pass around the wearer’s face and head to hold it securely in place.

HEDGEHOG: A device used for sensation play consisting of a short metal cylinder with numerous spikes attached to a handle in such a way that it can be rolled over the skin, producing a sensation somewhat similar to that of a wartenberg wheel.

HOBBLE SKIRT: A item of clothing consisting of a very tight skirt that ends below the knee, which prevents freedom of motion of the legs, allowing the wearer to walk slowly in a hobbling motion but not to move quickly.

HOBBLE STOCK: Any device intended to restrain a person by the genitals, such as a fixed bar or blank with an attached cuff designed to be locked around the penis and testicles, or a fixed rod ending in a dildo to which a woman’s legs may be bound so that she is penetrated by the dilldo and can not move. See related impalement.

HOG SLAPPER: An implement for striking, consisting of a strap of thick, heavy rubber, often wrapped in burlap or some other coarse material.

HOGTIE; also, HOG TIE: A bondage technique in which the bound person’s ankles and wrists are bound together, usually behind the back; then the ankles are bound to the wrists wile the person lies on his or her stomach. Also, verb to tie in a hogtie.

HONOR BONDAGE: Colloquial; see psychological bondage.

HOJOJITSU: (Japanese ) A martial art, originating in medieval Japan, for tying and restraining prisoners. Seldom used or taught any more, but the art of hojojitsu may have been the origin of shibari.

HOOD: Any covering designed to go over the head, often partly or completely covering the face as well.

HORSE: 1. A piece of bondage furniture consisting of a plank supported by two legs on each end, similar to a sawhorse. A person may be bent or tied over the horse and flogged or spanked. 2. See wooden horse.

HOUSE BOY: A male house slave.

HOUSE GIRL: A female house slave.

HOUSE SLAVE: A submissive, who may often live with the dominant, who acts as a maid, cleaning up the dominant’s house and performing other household errands, often while nude. A house slave may sometimes be punished for failure to perform satisfactorarily; with this form of D/s, sexual submission may or may not be part of the arrangement.

HUMBLER: An implement consisting of a locking metal ring which fits around the testicles, connected to two wings which go between the legs and behind the buttocks. A person wearing a humbler cannot stand straight without placing painful pressure on the testicles; the humbler forces the wearer to walk bent over or on all fours.

HUMILIATION PLAY: Sexual arousal from activities which include an element of humiliation, shame, or embarrassment for one or more of the participants. Commentary: Humiliation play is a relatively unusual taste that is often very difficult to explain to someone who doesn’t understand it. While humiliation play may carry little or no risk of injury, it can be psychologically very intense, and is sometimes the psychological equivalent of edge play.

HUMILIATRIX: A female dominant skilled at humiliation play. Etymology: The word was coined by Edmund Bohun in 1853, from the Latin for “woman who humiliates.”

IMPACT PLAY: Any activity involving striking or hitting, as for example flogging, spanking, whipping, or percussion.

IMPALEMENT: A practice in which a person is bound, usually while standing, and penetrated anally or vaginally with a dildo attached to the end of a fixed pole or rod in such a way that the person cannot escape or remove himself or herself from the dildo. Commentary: This practice can be dangerous if not done correctly. The person must be bound in such a way that he or she cannot fall if he or she loses balance.

INFANTILISM: A type of role play in which one of the adult participants takes on the role of an infant, and may be dressed in diapers, suck on a pacifier, and so forth. See also age play; see related adult baby.

INFIBULATION: 1. Chastity piercing, particularly of men. 2. In some cultures, the practice of female genital mutilation, typically forced on women at the onset of puberty and often for religious reasons. The practice consists of surgical removal of the clitoris and/or sewing the labial lips together to prevent sexual penetration. 3. In some historical contexts, particularly in ancient Rome, the practice of sewing the foreskin over the head of the penis to prevent a male slave from engaging in sexual intercourse.

INFLATION: A practice involving injecting saline solution into the scrotum to “inflate” the scrotal sac, sometimes to a very large extent. Commentary: A sometimes painful practice that is not safe if not done by a skilled and experienced person.

INFORMED CONSENT: See consent. Commentary: Consent is not valid if it is not informed; in order to be valid, a person who gives permission to engage in an activity must know and understand what the activity is, what the circumstances surrounding the activity are, and what the potential consequences are, including any risks involved in that activity.

INVERSION TABLE: A piece of furniture consisting of a flat table to which a person can be bound, suspended between upright supports on a pivot in such a way that the table can be rotated upright, inclined, or completely upside-down.

IRONS: See leg irons. Archaic, colloquial locked in irons, thrown in irons, clapped in irons: restrained with leg irons.

ISOLATION HOOD: Any type of hood designed to be used for sensory deprivation by removing the wearer’s ability to see, hear, or speak. See related ball hood.

JAPANESE BONDAGE: See shibari.

JAPANESE CLOVER CLAMP: See clover clamp.

KAJIRA: In the Gor novels, a female sex slave. In Gorean D/s, a woman who identifies as a slave.

KAMI: In shibari, any technique or tie that involves the hair, such as by weaving ropes through the hair to hold the head immobile.

KARADA: A rope harness, originating in Japan, that is tied around the torso in a series of diamond-shaped patterns. Often used as a foundation in shibari. The karada does not restrain the subject, and can even be worn under clothing.

KENNEL PLAY: A specific form of puppy play in which the submissive is confined to a kennel or doghouse as part of the play. See related animalism.

KINBAKU: See shibari. Usage: Most technically, shibari is the act of tying, and kinbaku is artistic bondage. In general use, however, shibari and kinbaku are often used as synonyms.

KOTORI: A rope harness intended to support a person’s weight from the torso and upper legs, used for suspension in shibari.

KNEE PILLORY; also, KNEELING PILLORY, KNEELING STOCK: A stock on a very short frame, such that a person may be restrained by kneeling in front of the stock and then bending over. The top of the stock is then closed around the person’s kneck and wrists, restraining him or her in a kneeling position.

KNIFE PLAY: Any activity involving use of a knife. Sometimes done strictly for psychological effect, as with a dull knife; sometimes done for the purpose of cutting or breaking the skin. See related blood play, edge play (def. 1).

KNOUT: A specific type of whip with multiple lashes made of wire or of leather thongs twisted with wire and usually knotted.

LADDER: A structure consisting of either a triangular wooden frame with wooden slats running across it or two vertical wooden planks with several horizontal cross members, to which a person can be bound.

LACING: 1. The practice of extreme corsetry; particularly, very tight corsetry done as a form of body modification. 2. A specific and unusual type of bondage done by suturing a part of the body to or around a fixed object. 3. Any functional tie used to close an article of clothing, such as boots or corsets. 4. Any style of bondage involving restraining a person by tying a cord or rope over the person and around many fixed points. See related lacing table. Commentary: In the sense of def. 2, the practice of lacing is often considered edge play and may not be safe if done by a person who is not skilled and knowledgable.

LACING TABLE: A table or other flat, horizontal table-like object specifically designed for lacing (def. 4), usually consisting of two or more rows of eyehooks affixed to the table in such a way that a person lying between the rows of eyehooks can be restrained to the table by a rope or cord that is laced back and forth between the eyehooks.

LASH: 1. Any long, flexible implement, often made of leather or cord, used to strike a person. 2. The flexible striking part of a flogger. Also, verb To strike with a lash (def. 1).

LEATHER BAR: A drinking establishment catering to the BDSM community, often specifically to the old leather community, which may have strict dress codes for entrance.

LEATHER BUTT: Colloquial A condition where prolonged, repeated stimulation of a particular part of a person’s body, most often pain play involving paddling or striking so as to leave deep bruises, makes that part of the body less sensitive. Usage: Used generically, not necessarily only to describe one’s butt. Commentary: In some cases, repeated, prolonged, and very hard striking, as with a paddle or a crop, can create bruising deep enough that the area that is bruised becomes less sensitive. If this is done repeatedly over a period of time, this decrease in sensation can reportedly become permanent, resulting in leather butt. As the people I know tend to enjoy forms of play that do leave very deep bruises, and as I’ve never seen any cases of permanent reduction in sensation, I am of the opinion that such permanent reduction in sensation is probably rare.

LEG IRONS: A set of locking cuffs, often made of iron fastened together with rivets, with a length of chain about a foot long between them. Designed to be locked around the legs or ankles in such a way that the bound person can still walk, in a slow, shuffling gait, but cannot run. May also include additional chains designed to be affixed to a belt and to cuffs fastened about the wrists. Leg irons which attach specifically to the ankles or feet are also called fetters.

LEG STRETCHER, also LEG SPREADER: See spreader bar.

LEGREE: An implement used for striking, similar in design to a dragon’s tail but without a rigid handle.

LIFESTYLE: 1. Colloquial; often “the lifestyle” Of or pertaining to involvement in BDSM, as in How long have you been in the lifestyle? 2. Of or pertaining to a TPE relationship, as in We practice lifestyle D/s.

LIMIT: A boundary, which may be set by a dominant or a submissive, which specifies a point past which any activity will not go. See soft limit, hard limit. See related edge play (def. 2).

LITTLE: Colloquial One who takes the role of a submissive younger person in age play. Usage: Used as a noun; as, Bob is a little.

LITTLE PLAY: Colloquial; see age play.

LUNGE WHIP: A specific type of whip consisting of a handle attached to a long, flexible shaft, often made of fiberglass and typically about 65″ long or so, with a single long, narrow lash. Lunge whips often telescope or disassemble for easy storage.

MANACLES: Any metal cuffs with a length of chain attached, which either connects the cuffs together (as in a pair of handcuffs) or which may be used to affix the cuffs to a wall or other restraint point.

MARTINET: A specific type of whip (def. 1) consisting of a short, rigid handle with many short leather lashes, each of which is square in cross-section.

MARTYMACHLIA: Psychology Sexual arousal from being watched during sex; exhibitionism.

MASOCHIST: One who experiences arousal, excitement, or sexual gratification from receiving pain. Contrast sadist. Commentary: Contrary to popular misconception, a masochist does not experience arousal at all forms of pain; stubbing a toe, for example, is unlikely to be arousing. The context of the pain is important.

MASTER: A dominant, usually in a TPE relationship. Usually male; the female equivalent is a mistress. Contrast slave.

MASTIGOTHYMA: Psychology Sexual arousal from being flogged.

MERINTHOPHILIA: Psychology Sexual arousal from being tied up. See related bondage bunny.

METACONSENT; also, META-CONSENT: See consensual non-consent. Usage: Uncommon.

METAFETISHIST: Colloquial 1. A person who is aroused by introducing a partner to new sexual activities. 2. A person with a wide range of different sexual turn-ons or tastes. 3. A person who enjoys learning or exploring new sexual activities.

MESSALINA SYNDROME; also, MESSALINA COMPLEX: A seldom-used synonym for nymphomania. Etymology: Derives from the alleged promiscuous sexual appetite of Valeria Messalina, the wife of the Roman Emperor Claudius.

MILITARY PLAY: A specific form of role play which involves military-style settings, uniforms, hierarchy, or protocol.

MILKING: 1. The practice of stimulating the male prostate, often with a finger or with an implement such as a dildo, or of stimulating the perineum in such a way as to produce ejaculation without orgasm. 2. The practice of inducing orgasm repeatedly in a man, often by sexually stimulating him over and over, until he is no longer able to produce ejaculate. 3. Stimulating the prostate by means of an electrode built into a dildo or similar probe, inserted into the anus and connected to an electrical stimulation device such as a TENS unit. The electrode causes involuntary contraction of the muscles around the prostate, causing ejaculation without arousal or orgasm.

MISTRESS: Female equivalent of a master.

MONOGLOVE: See armbinder.

MOUTH BIT: Any of a style of gags with a long, cylinder-shaped bit, usually made of soft rubber or latex, in place of a round ball. Mouth bits may include an integrated harness; such bits are often used in pony play.

MOUTH GAG: A dental instrument designed to hold the mouth open for long periods of time, sometimes used as a gag in BDSM play.

MUMMIFICATION: A form of bondage in which the subject is immobilized by being entirely wrapped quite tightly, as with Saran wrap, rope, fabric, or similar material.

MUNCH: An informal social gathering of people interested in BDSM, usually in a public place such as a restaurant or cafe, for the purpose of meeting other like-minded people and socializing. A munch is generally a low-pressure gathering without overt BDSM overtones. Commentary: The word “munch” was coined by the same person who gave us the word squick.

MUZZLE GAG: A specific type of gag which has a flat panel, often made of leather or latex, that is held over the wearer’s mouth by straps which go around the wearer’s cheeks, and sometimes containing additional straps that pass over the top of the wearer’s head, straps that pass around or under the wearer’s chin, or both.

NAWA JUJUN: Japanese; see bondage bunny.

NEEDLE PLAY: Activity involving placing needles through the top layer of skin, or using needles for temporary piercings. See related blood play, edge play (def. 1).

NECK CORSET: See corset collar.

NEWBIE: Colloquial A newcomer to BDSM; or, more generally, a newcomer to any sport, hobby, or subculture.

NEW LEATHER: Anything of or related to a specific part of the BDSM community which began taking the place of the old leather community in the late 1980s and early 1990s. The new leather community abandoned many of the rigid hierarchies and strict protocols of the old leather community, and welcomed lesbians and heterosexuals interested in BDSM. Commentary: The old leather community began to fade for a number of reasons, including the fact that many of its members were aging, the fact that both homosexuality and BDSM became much more mainstream during the late 1970s and 1980s (a trend which is continuing today), the fact that BDSM began reaching a wider and wider pool of interested people thanks to new communications media such as the Internet, and the effect of AIDS on the gay community in the late 1980s.

NIPPLE CLAMP: Any clamp or clamp-like device designed to be clamped to a subject’s nipples. May include a mechanism for adjusting or limiting the amount of pressure applied to the nipple. Clothespins make good (and cheap!) nipple clamps. See related clover clamps, tweezer clamps.

NOSE HOOK: A set of rigid, blunt hooks, about an inch long, connected to a length of rope, cord, or chain. The hooks are inserted in a person’s nose and the rope is tied above or behind the person, forcing the head up. Sometimes used in shibari.

NOSE SHACKLE: A device, often consisting of a metal clamp with adjustable jaws which can be opened or closed by means of a screw, designed to clamp onto a person’s nose. When clamped, the nose shackle can not be removed by the wearer. Often has a means of affixing a chain or leash, allowing a person to be restrained by the nose shackle.

NOSTRIL STRAP: See nose hook.

NULLIFICATION: Sexual arousal from the act of amputation. Commentary: very, very, very rare.

OBJECTIFICATION: Sexual arousal from any act in which one person is dehumanized or dehumanizes another. Animalism, and some forms of humiliation play and utility D/s, involve objectification.

ODALISQUE: (Literally, Turkish oda chamber, room + liq woman) Archaic A female sex slave.

OLD LEATHER: Anything of or related to the gay male BDSM community which began in the United States and Canada after WWII and was most popular primarily between the 1960s and the late 1980s; characterized by a very rigid and structured hierarchy, elaborate codes of conduct, ritualized protocol, and a strong sense of community, duty, and loyalty. Often modeled on military traditions and practices, the old leather community was almost exclusively comprised of gay men and was suspicious of “outsiders.” Contrast new leather; See related hanky code.

ONE-COLUMN TIE: In bondage, any form of tie which binds one of the body to something else; as, for example, any tie which binds a wrist to a fixed object such as a headboard. See related two-column tie.

ORAL SERVITUDE: A specific form of submission in which the submissive partner satisfies the dominant partner orally, but is generally not permitted to have other, more conventional forms of sexual contact with the dominant partner.

ORGASM CONTROL; also, ORGASM DENIAL: The practice whereby one person is not permitted to reach sexual orgasm without the permission of another person, or for a set period of time, or sometimes at all, even though that person may be permitted (or required) to engage in sexual activity or sex.

ORIENTATION PLAY: Any activity in which a person is ordered or instructed to engage in sexual activity with another person whose sex is not appropriate for the first person’s sexual orientation or identity, as for example instructing a straight female to engage in sexual activity with another woman.

OTK: (Acronym) see Over the knee.

OVER THE KNEE (OTK): A style of spanking in which the dominant or top is seated and turns the submissive or bottom over his or her knee so as to spank the buttocks.

OVERSEER’S WHIP: A type of singletail, usually about six feet long and having a braided lash but without a rigid handle, commonly used by slave traders and slave owners in United States history. Very similar to a bullwhip.

Glossary terms and definitions provided by Xeromag. I had this posted on the pantywow blog site before i had it removed, with their permission. I’ve relocated this list here, for those interested. Since this is an adult site, I have made it so that accounts must be approved first, before reading. Membership to my blog, is and always will be free for anyone that locates this site via an internet search.

The BDSM Gossary part 1

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This list is provided to you for educational purposes. While there are many words and descriptions listed, I do not personally participate in all things listed below, nor do I claim to have experience in all topics listed, either. However, there are many things that I am familiar with, have experience with, and enjoy. My experience has come from education, previous real time sessions, club scene experiences, and personal intimate relationships. My personality is naturally dominant, at times aggressive, nurturing, sweet, and even sadistic. So, bottom line – I’m more like the girl next door, with a wild side who truly loves kinky sexual mental and physical erotic stimulation.

24/7: Colloquial Of or related to a total power exchange relationship.

A-FRAME: A type of bondage furniture consisting of an upright triangle, usually made of wood and typically about seven to eight feet tall, sometimes with cross slats. A person can be bound to the frame with wrists together, arms above the head and affixed to the pinnacle of the triangle, and ankles bound to the base of the triangle with legs apart.

ABASIOPHILIA: Psychology Sexual attraction to people in or who use wheelchairs, casts, braces, or other orthopedic fixtures.

ABRASION: Any form of sensation play involving stroking or brushing the skin with rough, textured objects such as sandpaper, emery boards, and the like.

ABSOLUTE POWER EXCHANGE (APE): See total power exchange. Usage: Less common than TPE.

ADULT BABY: Colloquial A person who engages in infantilism in the role of a very young child or infant.

AFTERCARE: A period of time after intense BDSM activity in which the dominant partner cares for the submissive partner. Commentary: Some BDSM activities are physically challenging, psychologically intense, or both. After engaging in such activities, the submissive partner may need a safe psychological space to unwind and recover. Aftercare is the process of providing this safe space.

AGE PLAY: A form of role play in which a participant assumes the role of someone of a different age. Typically, the submissive partner will assume the role of a very young (and hence powerless) child. See related adult baby, infantalism. Commentary: One common misperception about age play is that it appeals to pedophiles or is intended to simulate pedophilia. For those who engage in this activity, it is the powerlessness aspect of childhood and the inherent power imbalance between an adult and a child, rather than the childhood itself, that is appealing.

AGONOPHILIA: Psychology; see resistance play.

AGORAPHILIA: Psychology Sexual arousal from sex in public places. Does not necessarily involve exhibitionism; the excitement may come from the fear of being caught, rather than from being observed in a sex act.

ALGOPHILIA; also, ALGOLAGNIA: Psychology Sexual arousal from receiving pain. See also masochist; See related pain play, sadomasochism, sadist.

ALPHA SUB: Colloquial In a relationship in which one dominant has more than one submissive, the submissive accorded the greatest power or respect among all the submissives. See related polyamory: »polyamory«; polyamory: »primary/secondary«. Commentary Not all relationships which have more than one submissive include a hierarchy among the submissives; that is, not all such relationships have an alpha sub.

ANAL HOOK; also, BUTT HOOK: A smooth, blunt metal hook, typically about an inch thick and six inches long, with a small loop on one end. The shorter side of the hook is inserted into the anus, and a rope tied to the loop on the other end can be tied to an overhead fixture to force the wearer to kneel with his or her butt in the air, or can be secured to the wrists to bind the wearer’s hands. Some anal hooks include a ball on the end that is inserted.

ANILINGUS: Any sexual activity involving licking, kissing, or tonguing another person’s anus.

ANIMALISM: Any form of role play in which a participant assumes the role of an animal to be trained, such as a horse or dog. See related pony play, puppy play.

ANKLE CUFFS: Any cuffs (def. 1) specifically designed to be affixed to a person’s ankles. Ankle cuffs are often made of leather, but may also be made of cloth, rope, metal, or even wood.

ARMBINDER: A restraint device consisting of a long sleeve into which both arms are placed, often fitted with laces or straps to hold the arms securely together. An armbinder may also include an integrated collar to prevent the wearer from withdrawing the arms. Also referred to as a single-glove or monoglove.

ARM TRAPS: A type of restraint, usually made of rigid metal bands, which are designed to go around the elbow and hold the arm in a bent position. When locked in place, they prevent the wearer from straightening his or her arms.

ASPHYXIA: see breath control; see related auto-erotic asphyxia.

ASS PLAY; also, ARSE PLAY (British): Any form of sexual stimulation of the ass, including anal sex, anilingus, and the like.

ASYMMETRIC BONDAGE: Any bondage technique in which a person is bound in an asymmetric pose; for example, with one leg extended and one leg bent. Many forms of shibari include asymmetric bondage.

AUCTION: See slave auction.

AUTO-EROTIC ASPHYXIA, also AUTO-EROTIC ASPHYXIATION: A specific form of breath control in which a person who is by himself or herself constricts his or her own breathing, often with a rope or similar implement, while masturbating. Commentary: Often considered among the most dangerous forms of edge play (def. 1). According to some estimates, between five hundred and a thousand people a year die in the United States doing this. It is almost impossible to do safely.

BALL BUSTING: Colloquial Any form of genitorture applied to the testicles, as by squeezing, impact, or tight binding.

BALL GAG: A gag consisting of a ball, usually made of rubber, which is attached to a strap. The ball is placed in the mouth and the strap is placed around the head to hold it securely in place.

BALL HOOD: A specific type of hood, often without openings for the eyes or ears and sometimes containing integrated bladders designed to be inflated with air to press the hood tightly against the head, used as a means of rendering a person unable to hear, see, or speak.

BALL TIE: A specific form of bondage in which the person is bound in a seated position with the knees up, the head bent down over the knees, and the hands behind the back. Commentary: This posture quickly becomes fatiguing and should not be used for extended periods of time on people who are not accustomed to it.

BANDAGE SCISSORS: Specialized scissors, often used by emergency medical personnel, consisting of a pair of scissors with one sharp blade and one blunt blade with a rounded end. The blunt blade can be slid beneath bandages or anything else wrapped tightly around a limb without risk of cutting or injuring the person. Commentary: Often used in BDSM to remove a person from tight bondage or mummification very quickly in the event of an emergency. A sturdy pair of bandage scissors will make quick work of even thick rope; a person totally wrapped in rope can be freed within seconds with bandage scissors without injury.

BASTINADO: Any form of pain play involving inflicting pain on the soles of the feet, often by striking, cropping, or whipping them.

BAT: A thin, flexible instrument used for striking, consisting of a rigid but flexible shaft wrapped or braided with leather or cloth, very similar to a crop but usually slightly shorter and with a wider leather striking tip.

BDSM: A composite acronym for “B&D” (bondage & discipline); “D&S” (dominance & submission); and “S&M” (sadomasochism). Used to refer to any consensual activities or lifestyles between adults which include some or all of these things. The term “BDSM” is used in a general sense to describe any situation or practice which includes erotic power exchange, dominance and submission, pain play, bondage, sensation play, or anything related to these.

BEAR’S PAW: Gloves used for sensation play which have blunt metal spikes or dull hooks at the end of each fingertip.

BELTING: The practice of striking a person with a belt or with any long, narrow, belt-like strap.

BERKLEY HORSE: A type of bondage furniture consisting of a padded bench with integrated restraints and a pair of arms to which a person’s legs can be affixed. A person is bent over the berkley horse and restrained in place; the berkley horse is designed so that it can be elevated, rotated, or moved into any position, and the arms to which the ankles are bound can be opened or closed. Etymology: The berkley horse was allegedly invented in 1828 by Theresa Berkley, a prodomme in London who specialized in flogging her clients.

BIMMY: See sennet whip.

BIRCH: An implement used for striking, consisting of a bundle of light, thin wooden rods, typically made of birch. Also, verb To strike with a birch.

BIT: See mouth bit.

BLADING: Colloquial; see knife play.

BLINDFOLD: Any implement designed to prevent a person from seeing by covering the eyes. Also, verb the act of using a blindfold on a person.

BLOOD PLAY; also, BLOOD SPORTS: Any activity involving drawing blood. Specific types of blood play include needle play and knife play, among others. Often considered edge play (def. 1). Commentary: This is a high-risk activity which may transmit HIV and other infectious diseases. Persons who engage in blood play should be aware of these risks and take appropriate precautions.

BODY BAG: A long, heavy bag, often shaped like a narrow sleeping bag and typically made of canvas, rubber, or latex, used to restrain a person very tightly. Sometimes includes integrated straps which wrap around the person within the bag. See related mummification.

BODY HARNESS: A harness consisting of a series of straps designed to be worn around the torso, which may optionally include a mechanism for locking the harness into place and may also include rings or other attachments for ropes, cuffs, or chastity belts.

BODY MODIFICATION: Any practice, including piercing, tattooing, branding, and the like, intended to modify, often permanently, the appearance of one’s body.

BODY WORSHIP: Any practice or activity which involves venerating a person’s body, often as an act of submission by a submissive partner. Body worship may involve actions such as kissing, massaging, bathing, sucking, or otherwise touching a person’s body or part of it. Common areas of body worship include feet, breasts, hands, or genitals.

BOI: Colloquial 1. A person, usually biologically female and often boyish or “butch” in manner, appearance, or dress, who is submissive; commonly but not exclusively used in lesbian D/s relationships. 2. An effeminate man.

BONDAGE: Any practice involving tying or securing a person, as with ropes, cuffs, chains, or other restraints. Restraint bondage, the most common form of bondage, involves immobilizing a person, by tying or otherwise restraining him or her to an object or by binding his or her limbs together. Stimulation bondage is any form of tying in such a way that the subject is not immobilized and has freedom of motion, but the ropes or ties shift and move against the body, often in sensitive or erogenous areas; certain forms of shibari are stimulation bondage. A person in bondage is said to be bound. See also asymmetric bondage, predicament bondage, ball tie, breast bondage, bondage tape, box tie, cock bondage, device bondage, frog tie, hogtie, lacing (def. 4), self-bondage, strappado bondage, steel bondage, suspension, mummification, punishment tie. See related bondage belt, bondage bunny, bondage mitt, one-column tie, psychological bondage, rigger, spreader bar, spreadeagle, straitjacket, two-column tie.

BONDAGE BELT: A belt used to restrain a person, which consists of a heavy band of leather or a similar material which can be strapped or locked about the waist and which has several attachment points to which the subject’s wrists may be bound.

BONDAGE BUNNY: Colloquial A person who enjoys being tied or bound. Usage: Often implies that the person described is not necessarily submissive or masochistic, but enjoys bondage because he or she takes pleasure from being restrained.

BONDAGE MITT; also, BONDAGE MITTEN: A fingerless mitten, often made of leather, canvas, heavy vinyl, PVC, or similar materials, which is placed over the hand and then fastened in place with an integrated buckling or locking cuff. The bondage mitt holds the hand flat or balled up, and prevents the wearer from being able to pick things up or otherwise make use of his or her hands.

BONDAGE TAPE: A vinyl tape material, available in many colors, which sticks only to itself but not to other materials such as skin or clothing, making it ideal for bondage.

BOOTBLACKING: Polishing and spit-shining a pair of boots, sometimes as a gesture of submission, sometimes as a part of military-style uniform play, sometimes as part of boot worship, and sometimes to mark the beginning of a scene (def. 1). Commentary: In some corners of the old leather community, bootblacking was used as part of a ritual between a dominant and a submissive; the submissive partner would shine the dominant’s boots while the dominant sat above the submissive.

BOOT BOY: Colloquial A male submissive, usually but not always a gay male, who engages in acivities such as boot worship or bootblacking.

BOOT WORSHIP: A specific type of shoe fetishism centered around boots, in which the submissive partner may kiss, lick, polish, or otherwise adulate the dominant’s boots. Often, but not always, includes some elements of uniform play. See related bootblacking.

BOTTOM: A person who receives spankings, floggings, or other forms of stimulation in situations which specifically exclude power exchange. For example, a masochist may be interested in receiving some kind of stimulation but may not be interested in giving up psychological control; whereas a submissive has given up authority and may receive some kind of stimulation on the instruction of a dominant, a bottom does not give up authority and may control exactly how, under what circumstances, and to what degree he or she receives some form of stimulation. Contrast top; see related submissive.

BOTTOM DROP: Colloquial A sudden, abrupt feeling of depression, unhappiness, or similar negative emotion in a submissive which may occasionally occur immediately after a period of BDSM activity. May include feelings of shame or guilt, especially if the submissive has traditional ideas about relationship or socially appropriate behavior; after a period of intense pain play, bottom drop may be related to the reduction of levels of endorphins in the brain as well.

BOX TIE: A specific form of bondage in which a person brings his or her arms together and grips each forearm with the opposite hand, and then ropes are brought around the forearms to tie them together. Often combined with ropes between the upper arms to prevent the bound person from slipping his or her arms sideways out of the tie.

BRANDING: Body modification by the use of a heated metal implement to brand a person’s skin, leaving a permanent mark in the form of a scar. Occasionally done as a way for a dominant to “mark” his or her submissive.

BRANK; also, BRANKS: Archaic; see scold’s bridle.

BRAT: Colloquial A submissive who may refuse to obey a dominant’s commands, tease or taunt the dominant, or engage in other activity intended to provoke a response, often a punishment response.

BREAST BONDAGE: A specific form of bondage involving binding around or over the breasts. See related breast press, karada, shinju.

BREAST PRESS; also, BREAST CLAMP: A type of device, often consisting of two horizontal wooden planks with an adjustable screw or clamp mechanism between them, which can be clamped over the breasts.

BREAST TORTURE: Pain play involving the breasts and/or nipples.

BREATH CONTROL: Any practice in which a person’s breathing is constricted or interrupted, as with a hand or ligature around the throat or with a covering over the face, for the purpose of increasing sexual arousal or sexual climax. Often considered an extremely dangerous form of edge play (def. 1), as it can and often does lead to permanent injury or death. Also referred to as asphyxia, erotic asphyxiation, gasping. See related auto-erotic asphyxia.

BREEDING FETISH; also, IMPREGNATION FETISH: A type of sexual expression centered around a fixtion on impregnating a woman, which may also include fixation on other things normally associated with pregnancy or childbirth, such as lactation or the physical changes in the body that accompany pregnancy.

BUCK HAMMER: A medical instrument used to test reflexes and neurological function, consisting of a metal handle with two cylendrical, rubber-tipped metal hammerheads. Typically, one or both hammerheads can be detached and replaced with a short metal spike or needle-like attachment, or with a short, soft brush, both of which can be used to test sensation and neurological function in the skin. Sometimes used for percussion or sensation play.

BULLWHIP: A type of singletail consisting of a woven or braided leather whip, usually longer than 4′ and sometimes 6′ long or more, with a short rigid handle. Commentary: Requires extensive practice and great skill to use safely.

BUKKAKE: (from the Japanese , “to splash water.”) A sexual practice, originating in Japan, in which a very large number of men masturbate and ejaculate onto a person.

BUTT PLUG: A sex toy intended for anal stimulation, consisting of a flared dildo, usually quite short, with a wide base, designed to remain securely in the anus until removed.

BUTTERFLY CHAIR: A chair which contains two horizontal planks to which the legs can be secured, affixed to a pivot such that the legs of the secured person can be spread apart.

CABLE LOOP; also, CABLE SLAPPER: An implement used for striking, consisting of a loop or occasionally two loops of thick wire, coated with plastic, rubber, or leather, and affixed to a handle. A cable loop can be used much like a crop or similar implement, and produces intense sensations.

CABLE TIE; also, CABLE CUFF, PLASTICUFF, ZIP TIE: A type of cuff consisting of a thin plastic strip with a row of teeth in its surface, and a small ratchet on one end. The end of the cable tie can be placed through the ratchet to form a loop which can be pulled tight but not loosened again. Sometimes used by police in favor of handcuffs.

CANE: A thin, flexible instrument used to strike a person. Canes are often made of rattan or a similar material, but may be made of other types of wood or even of flexible plastic such as polycarbonate. They are quite painful, often leaving marked welts. Also, verb to strike with a cane.

CAPTAIN’S DAUGHTER: Archaic, colloquial; see cat o’ nine tails. Etymology: The cat o’ nine tails was used as an implement of discipline aboard British Navy sailing ships beginning in the late 1600s. The term “captain’s daughter” was a slang term for the cat o’ nine tails popular among sailors, likely because it could not be used without the captain’s express authorization.

CARABINER: Any device used to connect two chains or ropes together, often in the form of a D-shaped metal ring with a spring-loaded lever which can open the ring. See related panic snap. Commentary: Carabiners are not usually appropriate for suspension, as they cannot easily be removed if the suspended person’s full weight is bearing down on them.

CAT: Colloquial; from cat o’ nine tails: A generic term for any flogger whose lashes are braided or knotted, regardless of the number of lashes. Commentary: Knotting or braiding the lashes makes the flogger considerably more painful.

CAT O’ NINE TAILS: A specific type of flogger consisting of a handle, often made of wood and wrapped with cloth, with nine lashes affixed to it. The lashes are usually made of rope or of leather cords, and are braided or knotted. Generally more painful than many other types of floggers. The cat o’ nine tails was commonly used aboard British Navy sailing ships beginning in the 17th century. Commentary: The original cat o’ nine tails was made by unbraiding a section of the rope used aboard British sailing ships. Each rope was made of three sections twisted together, each section of which consisted of three cords twisted together, so the rope when untwisted had nine tails.

CATHERINE’S WHEEL: A large, upright wheel, usually made of wood, to which a person may be bound and then rotated to any position.

CATHETER: Any thin, flexible tube designed to be inserted in the urethra. See related sound.

CATHETERIZATION: The act or process of inserting a catheter, often as a part of a medical role play.

CAT’S PAW: See vampire gloves.

CBT: see cock and ball torture.

CHASTITY: The practice of disallowing any form of sexual release or sexual activity, sometimes imposed on a submissive by a dominant. Some forms of imposed chastity include the use of locking devices such as chastity belts to prevent direct sexual stimulation of the genitals. Also sometimes called chastity play, enforced chastity.

CHASTITY BELT: Any device intended to prohibit contact with or stimulation of the genitals. Female chastity belts often take the form of a lockable harness which passes between the legs and around the waist; male chastity belts may include a locking enclosure into which the penis is placed.

CHASTITY PIERCING: Any body piercing intended to prevent sexual intercourse; as, piercings along the labia which can be locked together to prevent penetration, or a piercing of the foreskin which can be used to pull the foreskin over the head of the penis and lock it in place.

CHEMICAL PLAY: Any form of sensation play involving the use of mild irritants such as wintergreen oil, menthol, Tabasco sauce, and the like to create sensation.

CHDW: (Acronym) Colloquial Clueless Horny Dom Wannabe. A derisive term for a person who proclaims himself or herself a dominant, but who has little or no real-world experience, and/or behaves with reckless disregard for the needs or safety of the submissive. Pronounced “chudwa.” Usage: Invariably indicates disdain for the person so named. Etymology: Originated on the now-defunct Usenet newsgroup alt.sex.bondage.

CICATRIZATION: 1. Formally, medicine The process of wound closure by means of scar tissue formation. 2. See scarification.

CINCHER; also, RIBBON CORSET, WAIST CORSET: A specific type of corset which is shorter than a full corset and wraps around the wearer’s waist.

CINCH KNOT: A specific type of knot made by passing a rope or line through an opening, then around and around itself several times, and finally through a loop near the opening.

CINCH: 1. To wear a cincher, often very tightly and sometimes as a form of body modification. 2. To tie with rope by making several windings of rope around two limbs, or around a limb and a fixed object, then passing a loop of rope around the windings. The loop of rope is used to regulate the tightness of the binding. 3. To tie a cinch knot.

COCK AND BALL TORTURE (CBT): Any of a number of different practices involving pain play of the penis and testicles, including such practices as binding, compressing, striking, or stretching the penis or testicles. See related parachute.

COCK BONDAGE: Tying or restraining the penis.

COCK RING: A ring (often made of metal or rubber) or strap designed to be affixed around the base of an erect penis. The ring allows blood to flow into the penis but constricts the penis sufficiently to prevent blood from flowing out, preventing the penis from becoming flaccid once it is erect.

CO-DOM: 1. A person who acts in conjunction with or as an assistant to a dominant during a specific scene. 2. A person who shares a submissive with another dominant, often in the context of a »polyamorous« relationship. Also, verb to act in concert with another dominant.

COFFIN: An item of furniture consisting of a long, narrow box, sometimes shaped like a conventional coffin, padded on the inside and usually featuring built-in restraints, a lockable lid, or both. The lid of a coffin typically features small openings or flaps at the level of the face, breasts, and genitals, allowing people outside the coffin to reach in and stimulate the person inside, or to allow the person inside to perform oral sex on those outside.

COLLAR: An item worn around the neck, sometimes equipped with a locking device to prevent its removal, and often worn as a symbol of submission. Also, verb To put a collar on, often as part of a ceremony indicating a committed relationship between a dominant and a submissive. See also corset collar, drop collar, posture collar, training collar, wolf collar; see related collaring ceremony. Commentary: Some people outside the BDSM community associate collars with animals or pets, and erroneously believe that a collar is a sign of humiliation or is used to dehumanize a submissive; however, the symbolic value of a collar within the BDSM community is completely different.

COLLARED: The condition of having engaged in a committed, long-term relationship to a dominant, often by means of a collaring ceremony of some kind.

COLLARING CEREMONY: A formal ceremony celebrating or symbolizing a commitment between a dominant and a submissive, typically during which a collar is placed around the submissive’s neck. Commentary: There is no single type of collaring ceremony, and not all people in committed relationships in the BDSM community practice collaring ceremonies. A collaring ceremony in the BDSM community has many of the same kinds of social significance as something like a marriage or a wedding; often, the process of collaring is used to indicate a committed long-term relationship, particularly in TPE relationships. A submissive who has participated in such a ceremony is often said to be “collared to” his or her dominant. A collar in this context has symbolic value not unlike that of, say, a wedding ring. Collaring ceremonies may be public or private, and may include whatever elements the people involved find appropriate. Collaring ceremonies may or may not imply a monogamous relationship; one dominant may have more than one collared submissive, but it is extremely uncommon for one submissive to be collared to more than one dominant. A collaring ceremony is sometimes used to mark the formal beginning of a TPE relationship.

CONSENT: Affirmative permission, assent, or approval. In a BDSM context, “consent” is an affirmative assent to engage in a particular activity, freely given without coercion or distress. Informed consent: Consent freely given with full and prior knowledge of the conditions and potential consequences of the assent. Also, verb To give affirmative permission to engage in an activity. Commentary: Consent is one of the hallmarks of BDSM, distinguishing it from abusive activities which may appear superficially similar. Consent is based on the active, willing participation of everyone involved in a particular activity; for example, if two people are engaged in something like pain play, a key defining characteristic which differentiates this play from physical abuse is that all the people involved know exactly what they’re doing, want to be there, and give specific assent to the activities in question, whereas the victim of abuse does not specifically and affirmatively assent to the abuse. Consent is valid and meaningful only if it is informed, meaning that all the participants have full knowledge of the activities to which they are consenting (including but not limited to the circumstances under which the activity will take place and the possible risks, if any, inherent in the activity); if it is uncoerced, meaning that the participants give the consent freely without threat, force, or intimidation; and if the people involved give that consent from a condition of sound mind, meaning their judgement in not impaired by drugs, disease, or any other condition which might cloud or distort their ability to make reasonable, rational decisions.

CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT: Any situation in which one person knowingly and voluntarily gives up the ability to prevent another person from doing whatever he or she wants; as, for example, deliberately engaging in activities which the submissive may be physically prevented from resisting and does not have a safe word. Some forms of rape play are consensual non-consent. Commentary: Consensual non-consent is still consent. A person who gives consent in this way is giving affirmative assent to engage in an activity that he or she will not be able to stop in the middle; it can be thought of as consenting to an activity in such a way that the consent may not be revoked.

CONTRACT: A mutually negotiated, written agreement between a dominant and a submissive, outlining the submissive’s limits, the activities the participants wish to explore, and the like. Commentary: BDSM contracts are not legally valid or enforceable, but are useful tools for defining what activities are and are not acceptable and in what contexts.

CONTRAPOLAR STIMULATION: Physiology Of or relating to any form of stimulation which produces both pleasure and pain sensations simultaneously.

CORPORAL PUNISHMENT: Any activity involving disciplining a person through physical means, as by spanking.

CORSET: An article of clothing, often made of leather, PVC, or vinyl and sometimes including strips of rigid “boning,” which is tightly laced and designed to narrow the waist and lift the breasts, creating an “hourglass” figure. See related corsetry.

CORSET COLLAR: A specific type of posture collar, typically made of leather, vinyl, PVC, or similar material and sometimes containing rigid inserts or rigid metal sides, which is designed to lace up the front, back, or sides rather than buckling or locking closed.

CORSET PIERCING: A form of body modification in which multiple rows of rings are placed through a person’s skin, then laced together with a silk cord or similar tie. Corset piercings can be done on the back, down the sides, or even on the labia, tying it closed. The piercings themselves may be temporary or permanent.

CORSETRY: The practice of wearing a corset, often laced extremely tightly, and sometimes constraining motion, as a form of body modification or for the purpose of control. See related lacing (def. 1).

CO-TOP: A person who acts together with or as an assistant to a top during a specific scene. Also, verb to act in concert with another top.

CRACKER: 1. A short piece of cord on the end of a whip, which makes a loud cracking sound as the whip is snapped. 2. Archaic, colloquial One who wields a whip. Commentary: The colloquial term “cracker” when used to describe a person from the rural southern United States originates with def. 2.

CRASH: Colloquial An abrupt feeling of depression or unhappiness immediately following the end of a BDSM activity. This feeling may be triggered by a number of different factors, including feelings of guilt (especially among people raised with traditional ideas about sex and relationships), confusion, unexpected psychological response to the activities, or even physiological processes such as a drop in the levels of endorphins. See related top drop, bottom drop.

CROP, also RIDING CROP: A thin, flexible instrument used for striking, consisting of a rigid but flexible shaft wrapped with leather or a similar material, with a handle at one end and often with a small leather loop at the other. Also, verb to strike with a crop.

CROSS CUFFS: A specific type of cuffs which hold the wrists together in a crossed position.

CROSS-DRESSING: Sexual arousal or gratification from wearing clothing appropriate for the opposite sex.

CROSS-ORIENTATION PLAY: See orientation play.

CROTCH ROPE: See sukaranbo.

CUCKOLD: One whose partner practices cuckoldry. Usage: Most often refers to a man whose partner practices cuckoldry by having sex with other partners, though occasionally used to describe women as well. For the female equivalent, see cuckquean.

CUCKOLDRY: The practice by which a dominant takes one or more sexual partners other than his or her submissive, for the purpose of humiliating the submissive. Commentary: Cuckoldry is distinct from the practice of »polyamory« in the sense that it is done in a context where the submissive has no direct control over the dominant’s other partners, and the primary purpose is to humiliate the submissive. Those who are aroused by cuckoldry are most often attracted to the humiliation and powerlessness aspects of it. The majority of the people who practice cuckoldry as a sexual fetish are women, who humiliate their male partners by having sex with other men.

CUCKQUEAN: One whose partner practices cuckoldry. Usage: Always refers to a woman whose partner has sex with other people.

CUFF: 1. Any restraint which has a band or band-like structure, which may be made of metal or of a flexible material such as canvas or leather, intended to be strapped or locked around an extremity such as a wrist or ankle for the purpose of securing or immobilizing it. 2. Archaic the fist. Also, verb 1. To restrain or immobilize by means of a cuff or cuffs. 2. To strike a rapid blow, as with the hand. 3. Archaic: Cuff with, to engage in a fistfight with.

CUPPING: A type of sensation play involving the use of small glass or plastic cups which are placed over the skin and then evacuated to create a vacuum, and hence suction. Some cups have an integrated valve to which a hand-operated vacuum pump can be attached; in other cases, the vacuum is created by dropping a flaming cotton ball, usually soaked in alcohol, into the cup and then placing the cup over the skin in such a way as to extinguish the flame. The vacuum is created by the contraction of the cooling air.

Glossary terms and definitions provided by Xeromag. I had this posted on the pantywow blog site before i had it removed, with their permission. I’ve relocated this list here, for those interested. Since this is an adult site, I have made it so that accounts must be approved first, before reading. Membership to my blog, is and always will be free for anyone that locates this site via an internet search.

It’s Cosmetics and Cat Fights

cosmetics

I was looking through some related videos on Youtube, when I saw a commercial for Dorothy Gray Cosmetics. I’ve never heard of the woman. However, I have heard, and probably so have you, of Elizabeth Arden. Apparently, Ms. Arden gave Ms Dorothy a piece of her mind, followed by a fist. Apparently, Ms Dorothy worked for Ms Arden, then took off with her own business, and didn’t like Ms Dorothy living with a man, unmarried. But, that could be all rumors, since the story is from the very early 1900’s.

I’ll tell you what. The model in the commercial, looks as if the scientist is sticking a vibrator on her face…

Sex Drive and The Full Moon

full-moon

In science the full moon creates changes both physically and mentally to creatires great and small, as well the environment of the Earth itself. The waters creep onto the beaches and into the night at full tide. Creatures crawl from and to the seas. While the world is shined down upon by the light of the full moon, people have claimed to have experienced a peak in their sex drive. Maybe that’s where ‘werewolf’ came about? By the light of the full moon, he would change into this sex crazed and restrained beast? Probably not. However, I know a few of you that get pretty wild, no matter what phase the moon is in…. I hear ya howl, beg, whimper, and even bark – depending on the circumstance.

Full moon could mean romance, wild sex, or just simply showing off your full moon ;) Does the full moon have any effet on you? How? I’m curious if it’s fact or silly superstition…



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